So here is the story. I dated a wonderful man for 3 years. We broke up a few months ago. I began dating again and have slept with one man. At my request, he was tested for stds before we slept together, and I was also tested after we slept together. Both of our tests were clean. He ended up sleeping with someone else right before and also after he was tested (in other words: he is a real jerk). I’m not seeing this man anymore, but about 3 weeks ago, I began experiencing symptoms of Hsv (genital and oral), and I STILL have the sore throat. I can’t go to the dr because I am away from home, visiting my family until next month. So for now, all I really have access to is online research. Basically I’m devastated. I’m so depressed. I pray it is hsv1 but I’m fairly certain it’s hsv2. For a couple days after I first experienced the symptoms, I couldn’t even eat. All I wanted to do was sleep. It’s all I ever think about, and at the end of the day, my head hurts from thinking so much and I am always glad to go to bed and just forget about it for a while. I cry all the time. I didn’t used to be so… dramatic, but I can’t help it. Basically, before this happened, I was this funny, smart, confident, vegetarian college student who was a little confused about her love life and now I’m… a fraction of what I once was. I feel ugly, diseased, and worthless. I feel so… hopeless. I keep telling myself that this doesn’t change my personality but I hardly believe it. And my best friend of 11 years told me “If you do have it, it’s not the end of the world.” I know she means well, but being married with 3 children, she just can’t understand. And my ex bf and I are talking about continuing our relationship of 3 years, and I’m terrified to tell him! I love him very much and it feels like if we got back together, I might be able to be okay with this, but… at the same time, in my head, he is just too good for this. And I feel selfish for even considering a relationship with him instead of leaving him alone to live a normal life. And if I gave it to him, how could he ever forgive me? How could I forgive myself? And I understand that you can get married, and have children and take medication to prevent the baby from getting hsv2, but… how in the heck do you even get pregnant without infecting your husband? Did I miss something? Basically, I’m just asking for any advice from anyone who is hsv2 positive or anyone in a relationship with someone who is hsv2 positive. How do I ever feel like myself again? How do I stop feeling so damn sorry for myself all the time? How do I stop thinking about things I could have changed because it doesn’t make a difference now? How do I ever like myself again? How do I ever feel worth anything? How do I like life again? How do I ever feel attractive or sexy again? The idea feels like a joke to me. I’m asking for any point of view that has helped you or someone you know who is hsv2 positive. I just want to like who I am again and feel like maybe everything will be okay someday. Not necessarily today, but just someday.
Also, any vitamins, creams, anything you have used that has helped. I bought some lysine recently and am taking 2 pills a day. Here is a list of vitamins I always took before I began experiencing symptoms: woman’s multi-vitamin, flaxseed oil, zinc, cranberry, a probiotic formula, garlic, b6, b12
I also want to say that I am not promiscuous and I have ALWAYS preached about safe sex. I have never been the type of person to sleep with someone I don’t know well, and I don’t sleep with multiple people. I am a relationship person and I am faithful. I <<<More>>>